This is a perfect fortune for me…

Brandon came home today with this written on his hand from his Girlfriend Maria

My Battle with my emotions and thoughts caused by BPD.

I have so many feelings that I feel and so many thoughts that rush through my mind to the point that sometimes it scares me. I wish that I could just feel what normal or what most people consider to be normal people felt. Some would say that feeling all these emotions can be considered a blessing as a lot of people don’t get the to experience them, at times I can say that I agree with it. I have these overwhelming feelings of happiness where I can feel this feeling all over my body that put a smile on my face most often it isn’t there for people to see but I surely feel it. I know that alot of people get these feeling as Lela will say but she agrees that my feelings are alot more intense then most. To have this great feeling of love is such a great beautiful feeling I don’t think I would ever change it for the world. But then I have the emotions that I experience with so much pain and suffering that feels like a 1000 knives are in my heart, a feeling that I that I feel like curling up and dying. The only thing that helps me to overcome this is the thought that eventually these feelings will go away usually within a few hours, but at the time you can’t help but to wonder if they actually will.

The thoughts that constantly run through my head are very random. Often they are wondering what people think of me how do they really feel about me. Do they love me, do they really like the person I am, will they miss me if I’m gone? Funny thing is these thoughts can totally be reversed within a few hours.

All these emotions and thoughts can make it very hard to keep up with me. Not knowing what your going to get your self into when you talk to me. Will you get me in a happy mood, or will you get me snapping at you for no apparent reason.

There is something I love about seeing her skin next to mine other then the fact she is my girlfriend and I love her, but it’s the contrast..

With my best friend getting married in just a few more days on Sunday September 6. I wanted to share a few of their engagement photos they recently got back.

Congratulations Angela and Adrian

Usually during the school week I will get up with Lela and go with her to take the kids to school. This morning I stayed at home, I was too tired from staying up late working. After she dropped them off, she went to the grocery store, then to the local Conroy’s to pick up these beautiful roses that I was surprised by when she rang the door bell.

I obviously am not a great floral arranger. I should of taken the picture before I put them in the vase lol. I love you baby.

I wanted to wish all my friends and family a very Happy and Romantic Valentines Day, and also say Happy Anniversary to Robin and Erik.

I know that I will totally enjoy my day with my baby. Yesterday she couldn’t hold back anymore and gave me my gift. Which is this beautiful two tone gold and silver double heart pendant. And this morning I ran off to buy her a small bouquet of balloons and had the kids help with making a big surprise breakfast.

The past nine years I’ve been wearing a amethyst heart pendant that my ex husband MOHCINE had gotten me for our first Valentines Day together. Now it has finally been replaced with this beautiful piece.

Thank you baby from the bottom of my heart I LOVE YOU!

Lela was making cupcakes this morning and one of them came out looking like a heart (the actual organ) and then we thought of how did the heart we associate with love get it’s shape.

Where does the shape of a heart come from and how do we associate it with Love

Here are a few ideas…

Idea #1 Ancient North African Orgin

During the seventh century B.C., the city-state of Cyrene* had a lucrative trade in a rare, now-extinct plant: silphium. Although it was mostly used for seasoning, silphium was reputed to have an off-label use as a form of birth control. The silphium was so important to Cyrene’s economy that coins were minted that depicted the plant’s seedpod (shown to the right), which looks like the heart shape we know today. The theory goes that the heart shape first became associated with sex, and eventually, with love. I seem to like this idea more then the other two.

Idea #2 Catholic Church Orgin

The Catholic Church contends that the modern heart shape did not come along until the 17th century, when Saint Margaret Mary Alocoque had a vision of it surrounded by thorns. This symbol became known as the Sacred Heart of Jesus and was associated with love and devotion; it began popping up often in stained-glass windows and other church iconography. But while the Sacred Heart may have popularized the shape, most scholars agree that it existed much earlier than the 1600s.

Idea #3 The Less Romantic Orgin

Some claim that the modern heart-shape simply came from botched attempts to draw an actual human heart, the organ which the ancients, including Aristotle, believed contained all human passions. One leading scholar of heart iconography claims that the philosopher’s physiologically inaccurate description of the human heart—as a three-chambered organ with a rounded top and pointy bottom—may have inspired medieval artists to create what we now know as the heart shape. The medieval tradition of courtly love may have reinforced the shape’s association with romance. Hearts can be found on playing cards, tapestries, and paintings.

Information borrowed from Slate.com

With all that I am, I LOVE YOU