Relationships with Moroccans
Posted by Heather, under RelationshipsI often get comments or emails from women who are dating Moroccan men or talking to Moroccan men on the internet asking me to share my stories and if I think they are caught up in the “Honey I love you lets get married green card scam”. First off let me start by saying that Moroccans are not the only Nationality that are known for doing this and that not all Moroccans contacting you will want this. It just happens to be that I was married to one so I tend to have people find the few blog post I have regarding him or other Moroccans and ask. Here are two post regarding a Moroccan (not my husband) wanting me to really talk with him. You will find alot of them on myspace.com as well as when your using Yahoo Messenger.
Begging Blog post 1 and Begging Blog post 2
Here is my most recent email…
Hi Heather,
I had a question..I read your blog, am I correct that you recently divorced
someone from Morocco?
If you did, can you share your story with me?
I think I am in the same boat and want to protect myself.
Thanks in advance for your help,
S*****
Now while I said before that not all Moroccan men want a green card, the chances are slim to none that this is the actual case especially when they are still living in Morocco. Most of these guys from my experience from hearing from Moroccan men that I know here in the states as well as my ex husband, tell me that these guys sit in a local cafe drinking their coffee and chatting with several women at once confessing their love for them. Doing anything and everything to get their way in and get that card.
From what I noticed it seems that they also target certain types of people and again I could be wrong. But it seems they go for someone that fits one or all of the below…
1. Big age gap they are usually in their 20’s and contacting women in their 40’s-50’s
2. Someone overweight, I think they are going with the myth that overweight people are depressed and or insecure.
3. Someone with a some sort of disability again going with the idea that they are probably depressed and or insecure.
Yes I was married to a Moroccan. Yes we got married before he had his green card and citizenship. One major difference between myself and the many people who contact me is that I happen to meet him here in my hometown of San Diego. He was a good man to me, never was demanding or mistreated me. As for other Moroccan men, I’ve known several other women who have been involved with Moroccan men and their luck not be so good. Just about with every one of them they would both physically and or mentally abuse them, as well as spend all their money. We married May of 2000 he received his citizenship in January of 2006 by the middle of November 2006 after a argument he left and was unsure if he wanted to continue his relationship with me, claiming he missed his family and wanted to be with his Mom. So as to if he really married me for the right reasons or not, well only him and god know this. But either way overall he was a good man. Now that is not to say that this can’t happen with a American man or any other Nationality because it surely can.
Let me bring up two major issues that can surely cause major problems as far as differences while in a relationship with a Moroccan Man. These two issues are pretty much the same with any relationship involving two different nationalities. They are Religion and Culture.
1. Religion: Islam is the established religion of Morocco with 1 percent of the population being Christian, and less than 0.2 percent Jewish. That being said, chances are your involved with a man who is Muslim. Now I don’t ever believe in bashing others religions. So that is not what this is about. I just want to say that you must make sure that you do your research on Islam before getting involved its very different from what your probably used to. Chances are they will do their best to convert you to Islam.
2. Culture: Hospitality is really a part of their culture, in fact they are pretty well known for this hospitality. Anytime you enter someone’s home stranger or not chances are you will be welcomed with mint tea and some sort of sweets. However the cultural differences between Morocco and America are very different and this is a problem in a relationship.
In Morocco, the Men tend to go out with their friends and hang out at the cafe drinking coffee and talking. While the women will usually be at home with their friends cooking and or cleaning. So when he gets here to the states and after he finds fellow Arab speaking friends, chances are this will continue for him and usually it will be a daily thing.
There are so many cultural differences I could go on and on about it, but I would rather not.
I can also tell you, that most Moroccans at one point while living here will think or even say they want to move back to Morocco alot of times they will even ask you to move back with them. If this happens please and I say again please make a few visits there (and more then just a few days here and there) before even considering it. Also you might also want to join up an online group, there are many American Women Moroccan Men groups to join. Where you can find others experience and ask for advice on your specific situation.
Just use your instinct when getting involved. If you see any red flags, you might want to reconsider. But like I mentioned before, not all Moroccan men are the same. You have your good and your bad just like any Nationality.
Some of you may recall a post from over a year ago titled “
