If you find things offensive easily do not listen to this song…Also if you have a child around do not listen it does contain some foul language.. I found this and thought it was pretty funny.
This is the male version of Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable”
For the past two weeks every kid I know has been sick at least once. They may get better only to get sick a few days later with some other bug. Brandon was sick last week with a bad cough and congested. He missed 2 1/2 days of school. Then on Thursday he started to feel better and seemed to be feeling great on Friday and Saturday. Sunday he woke up came out to the livingroom and I could tell by his facial expression he wasn’t feeling well. He layed down with me and watched a lil TV. Then about an hour later jumped up and said, “Mom I feel like i’m going to throw up!” Unfortunately my lil man didn’t make it all the way to the “correct facility”. The rest of the day he just lounged around the house and took naps. Yesterday he woke up appearing to feel fine, maybe it’s because he knew he had a field trip? Or maybe he was actually feeling good? Today I was taking a lil catnap while Brandon was at school and got my Call from the Nurse’s office at 10:00a.m. now my lil man has a sore red throat and a sore belly. So off I went to get my lil man. Then had to run to get him more medicine.
Not only is Brandon sick but Angela’s oldest son and daughter are sick as well as my lil nephew Joshua and my Brother Tyson.
Who’s Next????
P.S. Who takes care of Mom’s when were sick?
Why does this seem to be so true?
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.
– Rita Mae Brown
First & foremost, let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours.
As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed.
The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you’re even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we’re stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.
However, lately I’ve been wondering about your intentions.
While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?
2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage with cheese,onion and mustard (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream old dutch chips)? I’m an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you’re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It’s completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening’s debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken ie water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You’ve been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don’t know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.
In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you,
Your biggest fan
P.S.
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY
WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing
Brandon’s Birthday is next month and I just couldn’t help myself in wanting to write this. especially since this is his first birthday with me since he turned one…
EDIT: This takes place almost 11 yrs ago
I went through 40 Hours of hard labor with Brandon. 2 Days before Brandon was born the Labor came on strong. I like just like about every other mom go to the hospital to get checked out and sent back home. Wasn’t dilating at all, so I went home… That night my Mom calls me up telling me I needed to go walking to help speed up the process. But who wants to walk when they are in labor? Surely not me… She calls up Kerri telling her that she needs to come over to my house and pick my ass up and take me walking. So Kerri shows up and we go to Target and started doing my baby shower registry (we had the baby shower after he was born, so my Mom could be here for it) Imagine me at Target scanning items I wanted, saying, “HOLD ON!” every few minutes as a contraction hit and wanting to sit on the floor.
The next day went by with labor all day but stayed home. We went to bed that night and at 2 a.m. in the morning on the 16th I woke up out of bed feeling I had to use the bathroom. I get up go sit down on the toilet and no later then a second later my water broke. At that very moment the contractions went crazy out of control and were coming every 30-60 seconds. I wake up my husband John and he rushes me down to the hospital. I think he got me there in what usually takes about 15 minutes in about 8 minutes. I actually had to ask him to slow down because it was making me sick. This time I’m finally admitted, the roll me away in a wheel chair and attach all the monitoring devices. Hours and hours pass and nothing. I had only reached 2 cm. They induced labor to hopefully speed up the process of needing to dilate more but still nothing. They told me that if I didn’t have the baby in 2 hours that they would perform a c-section. Which is what I ended up doing, at 6:27 p.m. my little bundle of joy was born.
I didn’t want an epidural so didn’t get it till I was told I would be having the c-section. I was scared out of my mind of them sticking a needle in my back. So scared that all I could say to John was “I love you”. It felt like they were screwing into my back. During the labor at the hospital my mom was still up in Washington State at the time kept on calling to see how I was doing. She said she was so proud of me and was happy that I wasn’t yelling at John. There was only one time that I got a little ticked off at him and that is when he was saying good that was x amount of time from the last. I was like I don’t want to know that just tell me to breath and just hold me lol. Needless to say he stopped.
I have talked to people who have had a “normal” delivery and c-sections and I just like they do not recommend having a c-section. One of the things I hated other then the pain I went through trying to get out of my bed after is having the oxygen mask on me while in surgery but that will happen with any surgery I guess lol.
Here is a scanned picture of Brandon right after I delivered him as they cleaned him up…
After four days of being in the hospital I finally was able to come home on Monday the 19th.